I wish I could punch you in the face.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
