Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
