dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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