I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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