this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Randomize