I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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