all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
