sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
