it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Four minutes until I can fart!
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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