I just pynch a tree in the face
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
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