In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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