Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
