So drunk its hurt
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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