So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Randomize
