dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
