i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
