I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
