yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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