I'm jealous of your bromance
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize