Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
