U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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