She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
