he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
