Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
