I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
