I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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