ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
