If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
