Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
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