I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
