I heard we made out
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
