Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
