And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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