I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Houston, we have a squirter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
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