Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
is that a dick in a sweater?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
