Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
you didnt know i had herpes?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
