There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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