It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
