He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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