Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
