is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
