i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
