We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Still dying that you shit outside
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
