Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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