dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
