garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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