But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
