Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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