her vagine was all disorganized.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
