She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize