I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
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apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
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The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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