Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
So many bounce houses so little time
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
