okay pat passed out under dana's car
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
