You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
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It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
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Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize