Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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