my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
