Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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