As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
